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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023964">"Pidge Writes Fanfiction"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenscene2/pseuds/Queenscene2'>Queenscene2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Always Sunny on Planet Arus (Dotu Crack Fics) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Lion Force (1984)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"I think I will cause trouble on purpose.", -Pidge, Crack, Gremlin Shenanigans, It's Always Sunny on Planet Arus, Keith's the target mostly, Mentions of Sex, Multi, One shot of someone writing one shots, Pidge is Regina George in this lol, cause he's a NASTY BOI, cause yes, fanfic of someone writing fanfics, like pure crack cocaine, more like, pidge writes exclusive smut fics, this has It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia energy, this is a mess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:27:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenscene2/pseuds/Queenscene2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Pilots are annoyed when they discover what Pidge has been writing about them.</p><p>A crack fic</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Everyone/Everyone, Hunk/Baby Back Ribs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Always Sunny on Planet Arus (Dotu Crack Fics) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"Pidge Writes Fanfiction"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>***This fic is a crack fic. Do not take this one shot seriously***</p><p>Somewhat inspired by that video of Drew Gooden and Danny Gonzalez reading terrible fanfiction of themselves. (It was on in the background as I wrote this)</p><p>Not sure whether to tag this as Teen or Mature so...keep that in mind.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Oh, Keith! Take me. Take me with the passion of a thousand hearts!  Take me to your heaven, your paradise!” Allura moaned out as Keith sucked on her bare collarbone. “As you wish, my princess.” He cooed. His kisses trailed further and further down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>~</em>
</p><p>“Heh.” Pidge chuckled to himself as he read the page. He put the piece of paper to the back of the stack and read another one.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s only a matter of time, Commander, before I will be yours.” Lance said, caressing Keith’s bare chest. “Well, I guess this time, I’ll have someone to command.” He murmured seductively, bringing his lips to his. Keith lifted him up and brought him to his room, desperate to make his mark on him.</em>
</p><p>~</p><p>Pidge found himself laughing even harder. This was just too good. He read the next one in the stack.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Am I just too irresistible for you, Princess?” Lance said, wrapping his arms around her. She turned and attacked his lips with her own. She ripped off his dreadfully out of style leather jacket and his turtleneck like a wild animal, leaving his god-like upper body exposed to the elements.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>~</em>
</p><p>“Perfect.” Pidge said maliciously. He took the stack and put it in his arm as he cleaned up the desk in his room. He turned off his desk light and walked toward the door.</p><p>He walked down the hallway toward the main part of the castle. He then started to fling the pieces of paper behind his shoulder, Regina George style. Tens of pages were floating slowly onto the hard, metal ground. He had an evil smirk on his face.</p><p>Pidge ran into the nearby storage closet quickly, keeping an ear on the door. He really wanted to hear their reactions. He heard several squeaks of concern and protest behind him, as the space mice had watched what he did earlier. “Shhhh!” Pidge shushed the mice. The mice flashed him identical looks of disappointment, but Pidge didn’t notice.</p><p>~</p><p>Hunk was the first person who saw all of the pieces of paper on the floor. “What the hell…?” he inquired out loud. He picked up a piece. He skimmed the page, his face growing slightly red as he read about Sven doing… interesting things to his Commanding Officer.</p><p>He picked up another one about Allura and Lance. He roared in laughter as he read how Allura had rescued Lance from a Robeast and could just not wait to consummate their love, so they did in the middle of the crumbling rubble.</p><p>“What are all these pieces of paper doing on the floor?” Hunk heard Keith say behind him. Hunk turned around and saw Lance, Allura, and Sven, looking curiously at the floor. Lance bent down and picked up a piece.</p><p><em>“…Keith fondled Lotor’s chest. “I’m just so into the bad boys.” He murmured.”</em> Lance read out loud. The five laughed as poor Keith turned bright red. “Wh-WHAT?! I- I d-don’t…that is<em> NOT</em> true!” Keith stammered. His normal, cool, calm façade was completely gone.</p><p>Pidge giggled quietly on the other side of the storage closet door.</p><p>“Protest too much, Keith?” Sven said, a small smile cracking on his face. There was another round of laughter. “Hmph!” he said.</p><p>Keith picked up a page of his own. <em>“Lance fit so nicely under Keith. It was a moment that the two won’t soon forget.” </em>He read. Lance lifted his head up sharply. “WHAT?!” he cried. He snatched the page out of his best friend’s hand. “Oh hell no! I am <em>NOT</em> a bottom!” he cried, clearly insulted by how he was depicted.</p><p>Pidge snickered as he overheard Lance’s protests.</p><p>“<em>That’s</em> the thing you're hung up on?!” Keith asked annoyed. Lance read the title at the top of the page. “<strong>Bite Me A Lat-te: A McKogane Vampire Coffee Shop AU</strong>.” His hooded eyes narrowed in confusion. “What the hell does McKogane mean?”</p><p>“I think that’s your names mushed together.” Allura observed. “Why am <em>I </em>the vampire?!” Keith asked to no one in particular. “I would never do this kind of stuff! Besides, vampires don’t even exist.” He crossed his arms, clearly exasperated from this story’s lack of logic.</p><p>Hunk waved the page in his hand. “This one is of you and Sven, Chief.” He said. Keith visibly stiffened and Sven seemed a little quieter than usual. Hunk continued. “This one is called, “<strong>Drunk in Love, Horny on Main: A Sveith Fanfiction</strong>.” Keith started sweating bullets. Hunk cleared his throat dramatically and began to read the page in a dramatic manner.</p><p><em>“Keith couldn’t handle his liquor, and neither could Sven, apparently. “Sven, I think your-</em> Oh that’s the wrong version of your.” Hunk interrupted. Allura giggled. He continued. <em>“Sven, I think you’re sexy. Take me right here right now on this couch.” He slurred. Sven, being just as vulnerable and prone to suggestion as his boss was, started to unzip—”</em></p><p>“OH MY GOD THAT WAS <em>ONE </em>TIME!” Keith exploded. The hallway got eerily quiet, as four of the friends simply stared at Keith, who was covering his mouth with his hands. He and Sven’s deep, dark secret was now out in the open, and there was no way he could take it back. Sven had his back toward the wall so that no one could see his ridiculously red face. Nobody knew what to say.</p><p>Pidge just sat there with a shocked smile on his face. He glanced at the space mice who were shaking their heads at him in disgust.</p><p>“Awkwaaaaard.” Lance sang. Keith slapped his arm. Hunk dropped the fic on the floor awkwardly. Allura picked up another one. <em>“Lance towered on top of Allura."I'm going to make you mine tonight." He said, feeling up her bare—</em>Oh goodness!” she cried. Her face turned bright red. “This is….<em>very </em>graphic.” Lance was just as embarrassed.</p><p>“Well, at least there aren’t any of <em>me!”</em> Hunk exclaimed triumphantly. “Actually there is.” Sven said. <em>“I love you my love.” Hunk said to his rack of baby back ribs as he started to stick it up his—”</em></p><p>“OOOOOKAY! That’s enough of that!” he said snatching the page out of Sven’s hands.</p><p>Pidge was laughing so hard that he had to muffle his wheezes into a mop. Tears were falling down his face.</p><p>“I agree. This is just all making us mad.” Keith said, his anger simmering down and logic taking over his mind again. “I wonder who wrote all of this.” Lance asked, picking up all the pages off the floor. “It has to be one person. All of the pages have the same handwriting.”</p><p>Allura’s eyes lit up with realization. “Wait…where’s Pidge…?” The five looked at each other with wide eyes. “Pidge!” They all seethed in unison. “That little--!” Hunk started but was cut off by Keith shushing him. “Do you guys hear that?” Keith whispered.</p><p>The five stood absolutely still, listening as intently as they could.</p><p>The muffled but evident sounds of laughter were emerging from the supply closet behind them. Keith opened the door to see Pidge rolling around on the floor, laughing as hard as he had ever seen him.</p><p>Pidge’s laughs slowed down as he saw 5 pairs of narrow eyes glare back at him. “Care to explain <em>these?” </em>Lance snapped, slapping the stack of papers in his hand.</p><p>Pidge laid there awkwardly. “Uhhhhh….” He started. “Gotta blast!” he cried as he quickly crawled underneath his coworkers legs. He did a front handspring to get back on his feet and took off down the hallway.</p><p>“GET BACK HERE!” Keith cried, and the five pilots chased the resident Gremlin down the hallway.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>......yyyyyyeah.</p><p>This was a really stupid story obviously. Nothing makes sense, but hence the point of a crack fic. But I hope I made you laugh anyway!</p><p>Bye kittens.</p><p>Love,</p><p>Queenscene2</p><p>PS Pidge sent these one shots to Bandor later. He loved them.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25235674">Operation: Get a Clue</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/80sGayTrashGoblin/pseuds/80sGayTrashGoblin">80sGayTrashGoblin</a>
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